The Ultimate Accessory - A Man

It is actually pretty interesting that I have not ventured into online dating. I love the Internet. I buy everything on the Internet. I even buy toilet paper online...seriously it's easier than hauling 5 loads up crap up from the parking garage alone. Let's face it- the internet is amazing. You can literally type in anything there will be an infinite supply of facts, nonsense and inappropriate content to sift through. Even if you F up, google will punk you with a "did you mean?" - it's all there. So is that where I can find companionship? Would my soul mate be hidden on page 37 of Google search results? Maybe, maybe not. Either way I have always had a personal "search list" of requirements and deal breakers. 

I don't think it's too much to ask for, but what do I know? Maybe I am in a dreamland. Clearly things have not worked out in my favor thus far. Just the other day I made 12 eyes roll and got a good reality check when expressing my "man standards." However, if you search for something online today and can't find it that doesn't mean it won't exist tomorrow. 

So here it is, like shopping for the prefect bag or pair of shoes there is some wiggle room, some absolute requirements, some deal breakers and the possibility that a sale will come along and throw it all out the window. 

Assumptions: 27-37 yrs old, 5'6"-6'6", 160-260 lbs, all limbs, all senses, lives in 50 mile radius

Breakers: No facial hair, no smoking, no drugs, no criminal record, no extreme mental illness, no reptile pets, no hoarding, know Jesus. 

Negotiable [dependent on other required criteria]: no ex-wife, no kids

Criteria:  

• Someone to make me laugh and get my jokes. 
• Someone who values my opinion. 
• Someone who loves their family even though they may drive them crazy. 
• Someone to make me stop everything I am doing to come see some spectacular sight because for just that moment it is perfect and looks amazing.
• Someone who is honest even when it's easier to lie
• Someone who does the right thing even when no one is looking. 
• Someone who pushes me to new adventures
• Someone who sings in the shower and dances in the kitchen. 
• Someone who makes me a better person.
• Someone who is smarter than me
• Someone who is passionate about something

That is it. These are the things that will look great next to me. The things that will compliment who I am and who I hope to grow into. The things that will bring out my features and make me feel great. Nothing too trendy, nothing that will fade overtime. A wardrobe piece that will last years and go with any mood. Too much to ask for? You tell me. Even the best outfit isn't complete without the perfect accessory. It can still be great, but sometimes the right addition makes all the difference.